It was finally the day, the day that everyone, from
the royalty of far off countries to the homeless families in Central Park, had
been waiting for. It was the day of what seemed to be the biggest wedding in
the 21st century. Both Raymond and Sandy were getting ready
on opposite towers of the Four Seasons, while everyone was flooding in dropping
off all of the presents and admiring the extravagant decorations. They got
everything they could possibly need from fine china and diamonds, to flower
arrangements and letters of congratulations. They both were too excited to
focus on the presents. All they could focus on was that happy moment when they
would be named husband and wife. Of course they knew they did not need all of
these gifts but the public and their family and friends insisted on them. These
people have always been in the spotlight and everyone had longed to see them
together. This relationship had been in the works for years and it was finally
happening. It took countless amounts of time preparing and getting everything
perfect for their special day. Both the bride and groom could feel the clock
ticking down to the time when the bride would make it down the aisle.
Finally the clock struck five in the
afternoon and the doors flung open to reveal the blushing bride. The groom
waited for her, tearing up, as she took the long walk down the aisle. He waited
at the bottom of the stairs to help escort her up to the altar. They both
stared at each other as the vows began, soaking in this moment neither of them
ever wanted to forget. The groom was told to cherish her all the days they
lived and he said I do. The bride was asked similar vows and she promised to
keep every single one. After their vows the whole room gathered in prayer to
bless the couple on a long lasting marriage. The priest gave his blessing and
he announced them man and wife. As soon as this took place the groom took his
bride in his arms and placed a delegate yet passionate kiss on her pink lips.
It did not take long for the music to fill
the air and for the party to start. The reception hall was even more beautiful
then where the ceremony took place. There was food of every origin, flowers
from every country, and music playing from all around the world. Every guest
felt like the reception was catered to their personal cultures, which caused
guests to have the best time. The bride and groom said their hellos and gave
their thanks but shortly after the music started to be blasted the groom took
his bride away for the evening so they could celebrate their night on an
intimate level. Even though the bride and groom had left, the town kept the
party going. The whole town partied for a long time because they knew this was
going to be the start of something great.
Author's Notes:
I tried to make it a modern-day wedding day where the groom and bride are both big figures in America. I tried to describe the feelings and the emotions throughout the story. Even towards the end I tried to show the love and the eagerness to start their life together by leaving early. The inspiration for this story was Rama and Sita's wedding. I think it was a dream wedding where everyone seemed to be rooting for this couple. They had the perfect day and what seemed to be a perfect relationship. I wanted to portray that in a modern day wedding. I think every girl can relate to wanting a big wedding and having that fairy-tale day. I think this will hopefully make an interesting and relatable piece that isn’t too hard for the readers to follow. I think taking a story like Rama and Sita's and making it relatable makes reading these stories more enjoyable and exciting. Overall I am happy with how this piece turned out and how it transformed from Rama and Sita's story, to a rough draft, and finally to this one I created. I also think it is a good story to expand on if I decide to do that in the future sometime. I hope everyone enjoys it and can relate to something throughout the piece.
Bibliography: Ramayana (Public Domain Edition), Romesh
Dutt, 1899
Hi, I really like the idea behind your story! It's so cute how you brought their wedding into the modern-day world and changed their names too! It was so sweet in the original when Sita and Rama got married, and I really liked how you reflected how lavish their original wedding was with this modern-day version. There were just a few things that I wanted to point out, like a few grammar errors ("delegate yet passionate kiss" should be delicate yet passionate), but other than that it reads pretty well! I kind of agree with some earlier commenters about how some more detail of their inner thoughts would be nice, something a little more than just description of the event, like say dialogue? You could write out their vows, for example! Also, I was a little confused because it looked like there were three different versions of the same story? Is this just one portfolio story edited numerous times? Anyway, great job and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteAsaleigh,
ReplyDeleteYour story was easy to follow, since most of us are familiar with wedding ceremonies. I like the idea you had of describing the beautiful wedding that Rama and Sita had. In reading the Ramayana, it's clear that they were both royalty of sorts, and their wedding drew an entire city to celebrate. Your story isn't missing any detail as far as the setting goes. It was easy to imagine the flowers and silverware and reception hall, but a picture from pinterest or someplace would be great for an extra visual, since I noticed you hadn't included a picture with your story. Everyone loves looking at wedding pictures! Raymond and Sandy's wedding seems like any wedding you'd see in a movie, so is there anything else you could add (maybe a couple of other characters from the Ramayana or conflict) to make your story more unique to their wedding specifically? You've done such a great job with other details, that I know it won't be difficult to add some more!
I really liked the idea of your story and basing it off of Rama and Sita. The story was very easy to follow along with and the more modern day wedding ceremony was a good addition. I liked all of the descriptions you included in the story to help make the details more vivid for the reader. I did not notice many errors in the story but one recommendation I have would be to add another character into the story that is in attendance at the wedding. I was thinking of maybe a character who is high up as well and well-known and allow them to provide another viewpoint of the wedding. Along with adding another character, I would add an image to the story. Images always help with the visualization of the story and I think it would help. Overall you did a great job with this story and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDelete